Friday, October 2, 2015

New Beginnings

I never liked the idea of change; It's a scary thought. Stepping outside of my comfort zone is intimidating and having anxiety doesn't help my cause. When a lot of things are going right I never want things to change. But how can you move forward when you're holding onto the past? I've unfortunately had a lot of hardships in my 19 years of living and I knew that college was the perfect opportunity to start over. My first year of college wasn't what I expected. During my senior year of high school I made the mistake of applying to only one college. I waited my entire senior year to find out that I was put on a wait list. Determined to go to college that fall I had no choice but to attend a local UW college. Long story short, I hated it; it didn't feel like college, it still felt like high school. I got extremely depressed and my anxiety flared up. For the first time in my life I failed classes. I knew I needed to change something with my life. It was a scary thought but I needed to take that leap of faith. So in a short couple of months I applied to Madison Area Technical College - got accepted, transferred jobs, and got an apartment 5 minutes from the UW campus and my brothers house.

A year ago a never would have imagined me being where I am today. I've had a lot of thoughts about backing out and going home but that would be too easy. I'm proud of myself for sticking with it and I am so blessed for everything I have in my life. In the past year I have gone from a college that held me back rather than going forward, to a place that has motivated me to do better and become a better person each and everyday. I always told myself that technical colleges were for those who slacked in high school and that I wouldn't fall down to that level. Boy was I wrong; MATC  is one of the best decisions of my life. Every thought that I put into my head about a technical college was false and I can't believe how ignorant I was being. Any thing that you choose to do in life is better than doing nothing at all. The first month of the semester has flown by so quickly and each time I exit those doors I pat myself on the back and smile because I am a step closer to where I want to be in life.

In the past year I have grown up so much, all thanks to those who I surround myself with. I am so blessed to have such amazing coworkers that support me and push me to do better. Without them I don't know where i'd be. My parents were also such a huge part in pushing me to do what is best for myself & my future. Each and every day I find out more about myself and how capable I am to complete goals if I set my mind to them. Moving on to another college was one step, but taking the leap of faith and moving to a whole new city, two hours away from my parents, and living on my own was a giant leap. But I don't regret it; It's life and we are here to live it. Owning my own place is extremely exciting but also a wake-up call. I've had to prioritize my time and money to keep up with the bills and the dishes. One thing I do regret is not taking the opportunities to cook with my mom in the kitchen. I quickly found out how much I know about preparing a meal: almost nothing. I literally thought it was a good idea to put bread in the microwave to make 'toast' (because I didn't have a toaster), you can probably guess what happened... Yeah, not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Regardless, I am ecstatic with how far I've come in the past couple of months; from living with my parents to living on my own. A giant step anyone and everyone should be proud of.

Recently I made the decision to change it up quite a bit; I decided to dye my hair. I looked at it as a new beginning, a way to close a chapter of my life in order to start a new one. A new life, a new look, a new me. A healthier me, with ambition to achieve, and motivation to keep moving forward. It was a big decision, but it was something I wanted to do for over a year now and I thought now was the best time to do it. I went from a medium brown that faded out at the ends from highlights, to a dark rich chocolate brown that is warm and has depth. I was so scared for this change since i've never done anything so drastic. I also got it cut just below my shoulders in order to get rid of all of my dead ends I accumulated over the years (A trip to the barber was a rare occasion for me). I did some research before getting my hair done because this was a big deal for me and I wanted to have complete trust in the person who would be doing it. I ended up in the hands of Ric, an amazing beautician who was professional but personable. I couldn't be more happy over my decision to wait and get my hair done at this salon. It was a much needed change and it turned out just how I imagined/hoped. They say that when you go through a big change in your life you tend to change your appearance. And when I say appearance, I mainly mean your hair.



All in all I'm not exactly where I want to be, but I am where I need to be and that's all that matters. I'm a step in the right direction and each day I am getting closer; this is just the beginning.

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